I saw the romantic comedy "17 Again" last night starring Zack Efron with my girlfriend and her daughter. I was skeptical that I would like it because I generally believe romantic comedies are not worth their admission price (with rare exception), so since we were at the cheap seats theater, I reluctantly agreed to go. After stern warnings from my 15-year old not to "slam" the movie, I was pleasantly surprised. I laughed frequently and hard enough to justify the expense in time and treasure, but also came away with some fresh thoughts about family and relationships that I did not expect.

For those who have not seen it, the story line requires some suspension of disbelief. A middle aged dad, played by Matthew Perry, is in the final stages of his divorce, the result of having neglected the emotional needs of his wife and teenage children. He encounters his spirit guide, disguised as the school janitor, and is transformed back to his 17-year old, basketball star-high school senior self, with the chance of doing things all over again. In this form, he influences the lives of his kids, and ultimately repairs the relationship he was about to lose with his wife, who was originally his high school sweetheart.

The movie offers many amusing and awkward moments where the young man is placed in odd situations with his unsuspecting family, who see him only as the "new kid" but who bears a strong resemblance to Perry's character when he was young. The lesson of the movie is in part fairy tale because the endangered relationship is ultimately repaired, so a happy ending ensues. For those of us who have experienced the hardship of divorce, we know the reality to be distinctly different. But the movie's message is positive. As the audience heard in another light-hearted comedy (Marley & Me), the couple should "mend it, don't end it." This maxim is laudable for all marriages in trouble. If communication can be restored through therapy or counseling, that should be the first option to save the marriage and keep the family intact. Divorce hurts both the adults and the children, and while kids are resilient and may come through the experience stronger, staying together in a healthy and loving relationship is preferable in many ways. But we know that the fairy tale is usually not the reality.

We don't see the effects of the impending divorce on the kids in this movie. On the face of it, we might think "unrealistic." But kids often mask the negative effects until they come out sideways in other forms of behavior. Often anger from the loss of the family ideal being turned inwards in the form of anxiety and depression. Moreover, in the movie, the potential divorcees profess their love for each other even in the final courtroom scene. In reality, people may choose to end their marriages because of abuse or neglect, which would make staying together an impossibility. Separation may actually be the healthier choice. That's not the case in the movie, but the suggestion of divorce in the movie places a guilt trip on those who had to make the choice for emotional or physical survival.

How can we walk out of the theater feeling good about our own situations? It may be that the movie could lead one to feel good about his or her own decision to end a destructive marriage and rebuild their lives while working harder to do the next relationship right. Moreover, Perry's character rededicates his efforts to see to the emotional health of his children, which is a challenge for all adults going through divorce because it is easy to place one's own needs before the needs of the children. The movie gently reminds us to put them first as we move through life's unexpected changes.

So, all in all, not a bad way to spend the evening. Not only was I entertained, but I was gently reminded to keep my family as my life's priority, married, single or otherwise.